by Norm Johnson Send Me E-mail

It's hard to believe that just a little more than five-years ago a group of ladies disembarked from a chartered flight at the Las Vegas charter airport, only a few hundred yards from the MGM Grand Hotel, and posed for photographs. They were the first ladies from France to perform at the Green Monster (that's what I call the MGM Grand when I have to walk through it) in the famous La Femme topless cabaret show.

This week the media and many VIPs of our little town were invited to participate in celebrating the fifth-year of what has been called a cultural phenomenon, and which has been turning heads at the MGM Grand ever since its arrival. Many of those first ladies have returned to their home, but a few remain. And, gang, these are absolutely beautiful ladies and also extremely sensual on stage.

At the same time as our celebration here, the world-famous Crazy Horse in Paris celebrates its 55-year anniversary. Both productions have been unsurpassed as a radical innovation that exalts the female form as both artistic expression and entertainment. I sorta wished we had been invited to Paris, but hey, I'm realistic and was happy to once again see La Femme in Las Vegas.

From the opening number, where all the ladies are dressed as Royal Guards (Gosh tourists in London should be so lucky as to see these guards) but topless, to the final number you are beautifully entertained. Each number has a total theme and special color coordination and that is what separates the stripper from the La Femme ladies - the colors are fantastic and help create the illusion on stage.

La Femme at the MGM Grand performs nightly at 8 and 10:30 p.m., dark Tuesday. Tickets are priced at $59.00 plus taxes and fees and include a great show program.

As everyone knows who reads this column I love auto racing. And the third weekend in May and the third weekend in September are the ones I really look forward to every year. So, once again I am off to Ely, Nevada, to participate in the 19th Annual Nevada Open Road Challenge, with the actual race taking place this Sunday on Highway 318.

Why does an old codger like me still compete in a high speed event you may ask? I have been racing one type of a vehicle or another, since I was about 14 years of age. Even for the nearly four-years I was in the Air Force I would find a way to race a jeep in Japan or Korea (during the Korean War). The thrill of high speed is an adrenalin rush you can't believe.

In the Silver State Classic events you pick a speed you believe you are capable of handling and race to average that speed. You can pick 95 mph and still have a ball. I personally race in the 135 mph class and my Las Vegas Leisure Guide sponsored Camaro Z28 is teched to 160 mph.

The rules state that I can not bust out of my tech speed and I must not fall less that 20 mph below my speed bracket. I have never failed to finish, gang. I have placed in the top three numerous times and even won the 135 mph class a year ago. But let me show you just how tight this racing is. One year a guy racing in the 140 mph class finished with a speed of 140.0000 which is of course perfect.

My navigator, Jeanine Heflin of Las Vegas, sits in the right seat calculating all the way down the 90 mile course with a mini-computer. Her job is to get me to the finish line with a perfect time of 135.0000. We haven't done it yet, but we have gotten real close. And she swears she'll do it this time. Oh, yeah, must tell you this - she hardly ever gets to see the course as she's constantly figuring if I'm ahead of schedule or behind. All I have to do is steer the car and call off certain mile markers for her. She's got the hard job!

Anyhow, that's where I'll be this weekend. We sorta party on Thursday and Friday nights (the town of Ely goes all out to make us welcome) and take it easy Saturday night. Sunday morning we're convoyed to the starting area (Lund, Nevada) which is about 30 miles from Ely. At 8 a.m. the first car is supposed to take off down the highway for the 90 mile dash. Did I explain that the Silver State rents the highway from the State of Nevada from 5 a.m. till about 2 p.m that Sunday. The only vehicles allowed on the highway are the race cars going south.

Only in Nevada gang!

That's it for this week. I'm outa here!

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